Everybody knows that a good mother gives her children a feeling of trust and stability. She is their earth. She is the one they can count on for the things that matter most of all.
~Katharine Butler Hathaway

I never wanted to be a supermom. I just wanted to be a regular, run of the mill mom. You know the kind that is part nurse, part chauffer, part toy truck mechanic, and part nutritional and financial counselor. I didn't want to be the kind of mom who juggles career and family. I was content just being in charge of the home and family.

I will admit there were times when I felt judged for my decision. There were also times when finances dictated I do something to earn a little extra money. I was thankful for my college education because it did allow me to earn money from home as a freelance writer. I was the new June Cleaver, and very happy. I didn't know just how happy I was, though, until I was thrown into a new role.

At first the choice was just that: a choice. My husband had been ill with a chronic but manageable illness. We felt that if he could take some time off from his crazy manufacturing manager shifts, we all would enjoy a better quality of life. I went back to full-time work and he became the full-time stay-at-home dad while he took courses to help him find a career conducive to better  health.

It was a struggle at first. I felt like I was missing out on all I had enjoyed for the last twelve years as a stay-at-home mom. I felt I was missing the day trips to the beach in the summer and having the time to decorate the house for the holidays. It literally took me nine months to adjust to the fact that I was gone twelve or thirteen hours a day, including the commute, and had only weekends to accomplish what I used to do while the kids were in school.

I only had to endure another year of that schedule until the company restructured and my job was eliminated. Even though I was happy to be free from a job I barely tolerated, I worried about many things. I had provided the health insurance for my family and a little more than half of the income. I was hopeful at this time, too, though. My husband was truly happy for the first time in many years, working toward a career he loved and one that would provide well for our family. His health had improved greatly by being home and able to stop and rest when he needed to.

We enjoyed this for three short weeks. Then life changed in a way we never imagined and one that would leave us redefining each role in our family. My boys suddenly needed a supermom the day my forty-eight-year-old husband died from a heart attack.

The boys are fourteen, twelve and nine. They need a father and a mother. I find myself wondering how I can be all things to them. How I can be their driving teacher, catch partner, nurturer, and just mom, the person they go to for warm cookies and hugs? How can I provide for them? I struggle with the roles because I never felt like a great mom. Can I be a better dad? Certainly not. I feel like I was really good at being a wife, but that role no longer exists.

What is a supermom then? To me a supermom is someone who recognizes her shortcomings and asks for forgiveness of her children without the guilt trip. She is someone who tries a little harder each day to have more patience than the day before. She is someone who strives to end each day, no matter how hectic or chaotic, with a goodnight kiss and an "I love you" that is heartfelt. With this definition, we can all be supermoms.